3-year evaluation

One down, One to go

Julia made it through her testing, a long process for a kid who hates tests.  Who doesn't want others to know that she can't do it.... She knows she's not like other kids her age, why does everyone else need to know?  A very profound question from a girl who lacks self confidence and self worth to begin with.  She shut down during some of the testing, especially in the language areas where her cummalitive delays really are her down fall.  She tested at an IQ of 70 this time so she will still retain her special ed services.   U of M tested her at a 68 two years ago.  Her language grade age is roughly 7-9 years old, she did shut down during this part so she could possibly be a little higher more in the 10-12 year range.

 Knowing that the school doesn't use the more intense testing that the U of M uses, I was worried that she might not qualify under DCD and that would not be good for her in the long term.  Matt was able to come to the meeting with me this time, and everyone is very focused on getting the girls what they will need to increase their work skills and independant living skills.  Much of the independant living skills will be done by us I'm sure.  We have an understanding and positive group of people working with the girls at school, they are doing their best.

  I think many parents go into these situations not being very realistic with what the schools can or cannot provide.  Just as we've always known with our daughters, that they don't fit into traditional parenting or teaching, they also don't fit the programs entirely either.  Its that invisible aspect of our girls disability that boots them out of the standard settings.  Alot of their frustration and anger is the knowledge that they want to be like everyone else, but they aren't.  No amount of encouragement or support from us will change this feeling, we hope someday they will have the ability to accept and like who they are without comparing to others.  The girls have been in the community based work program this past quarter and are doing well.  The employers appreciate their hard work and are allowing them to do jobs that otherwise the students are not allowed to do.  This has been a very positive step for both girls.  It gets them out of the classroom and out of the school drama for 3 hours, enough time to recharge and let go of alot of the anxieties/stress, competition felt at school.

Their new counselor is really focusing on the Reactive Attachment aspect of their mental health.  Primarily on their anger issues.  She is quite concerned about the anger towards me, well not towards me personally, but the fact that they let loose on me when they are angry or frustrated about something or someone else.  Typically some drama from school.  I take this as a positive step for them.  Not much has really changed since we started therapy again, although the girls are now being held accountable by someone else for their actions and that doesn't always sit well.  Its also a paper trail for us incase life becomes complicated again.  Its clear that the girls are attached to me, probably as much as they ever will be.  They also have expressed to her that they want to stop being mean to me, they just can't.  They explain that Mom is there, she's always there so that is why they take it out on me.  I get it, don't like it, hard to take some days, but I get it - therefore I can let it go and keep moving forward.
 Tori starts her testing next week -
The sun is out and the wind hasn't started yet - so outside I go